At first, I didn't think anything was
wrong. Lilian is well known for her tenacity in searching out
friends for play. When I came home and Julianne told me she didn't
know where Lilian was, I was more irritated by the fact that she had
fallen asleep on the job rather than the fact that Lilian was
missing. In fact, so certain was I that Lilian was doubtless just
down the street, I didn't immediately try to track her down. I had
been home a good 10 minutes before I instructed Brandon to find and
bring his younger sister home.
But he arrived home empty handed after
knocking the doors of the most likely candidates. I was surprised
but still not too worried. I called both Rebekah and Julianne, each
of whom had left for the evening to be with friends....Rebekah
earlier, Julianne shortly after I arrived home. I grilled them,
trying to get clues as to where Lilian might have gone. Think hard,
I told them. What had she been doing, who had she been with, what
had she said? They didn't shed much light on the situation. In
fact, if anything I just became more irritated with them for not
taking better care of their sister. And so with that irritation
dissolving into the first pricks of worry and fear, I gave Brandon
more suggestions for houses to check while I started the rounds of
text messages and phone calls.
Time passed. Brandon made the rounds
on his bike. Texts came in from neighbors by the dozens expressing
concern and offering suggestions of houses to check. Lilian's
primary teacher drove his car to check the park and other areas
throughout the subdivision. Other neighbors came out to help me
search on foot. It was cold and getting dark. We had been pounding
the pavement for a good 45 minutes with no luck. And with each knock
and the subsequent, “No, we haven't seen Lilian...she's not here”
the grasp on my emotional control would slip a little further. I was
settling uncomfortably into panic and despair, trying desperately not
to cry when my friend Mirissa made a comment. “You know,” she
said, “we once lost my niece. We looked all over and were so
panicked. But it turned out she had hidden under a bed and then
fallen asleep there. Is there any chance Lilian might have done
something similar?” In my head I doubted it. Lilian doesn't nap
easily...and she had slept in this morning. But the emotional side
of me grasped onto that idea like a life line and I hoped...oh, how I
hoped!
We joined up with Brandon who was coming back on his bike and
told him we were going to check the house. The three of us walked in
the front door and Brandon ran down the hall to Lilian's room.
“She's here!!! She's asleep in her bed” he yelled triumphantly.
I could see the little lump of sleeping Lilian and my legs wouldn't
hold me anymore. I slumped against the wall in the hallway and slid
to the floor, my head in my hands while I bawled out of sheer relief.
Mirissa let me cry for a minute or two, then gave me a hug and
slipped away. I made the necessary texts and calls to let the
concerned neighbors and searchers know that Lilian had been found and
to thank them.
Lilian seemed a little confused as to
why I wanted to love on her for so long. Sleep befuddled
notwithstanding, she knew she hadn't been lost. Why was mom
so freaked out? Apparently she had been cold. And when she found
Julianne asleep on the couch, she took matters into her own
hands...put on her pajamas and climbed under the covers in her bed,
eventually falling asleep. When Julianne woke up, all she knew was
that Lilian was gone. It didn't ever cross our minds to check the
house because why would Lilian put herself to bed at 6:30-7:00 in the
evening? Especially when we knew that she had been out and about
with friends just slightly earlier. Chalk it up to a life lesson
learned. Check the house first, when a child goes missing. You
could save yourself a lot of emotional grief...