2020 Memes

As you can imagine, being home more than usual with not much to do, people have taken to social media in big ways to connect electronically when they can't personally, to share stories, to commiserate, to uplift, to debate (sometimes very controversially, unfortunately) and to find relief in laughter at all the memes that have been cropping up on the regular. I've saved the ones that I've found to be really clever or have made me laugh out loud. Laughter...ah, how it's needed! Always, but especially this very difficult year. In looking for silver linings, believe it or not I'm finding humorous memes to be one.

(2020 Bingo)

Losing smarts

I was privileged to overhear this little gem of a conversation between Lilian and her Grandpa while we were at their house celebrating Fathers Day this past Sunday. I couldn't stop laughing...

Lilian: Hey Grandpa....you know how they dug a piece out of your head? That place where there is a dent on top...you know? (He had a patch of skin cancer removed a few years ago.)

Grandpa: Yes, I know what you mean.

Lilian: Well, when they removed that part, did they take away some of your smarts too?

Grandpa: {Teasing} Yep. They did.

Lilian: Really? What did you lose?

Grandpa: What do you mean, Lilian?

Lilian: Well, like is science or math gone?

Grandpa: I think I might have lost all of the 3rd grade.

Lilian: {Gasp} Really??? Well, don't worry, Grandpa. I just finished the 3rd grade. I can fill you in!

Caught

It was a mad dash from my front den to the back bedroom...I'm sure they probably saw a flash of my pink fluffy bathrobe streak by as they came in the front door.

What was meant to be a productive day had devolved into a few hours sitting in front of the computer. I'd come to terms with it. After all, the blog post about the first day of school was taking me much longer to put together than I had thought...but it was on my list of things to do. So, maybe I wouldn't get a chance to visit the Museum of Fine Art today after all and needed to shift that activity to another day. No biggie. Reconsidering my to-do list, I'd already decided instead that some laundry and vacuuming would take its place after finishing said post. 

But then I heard a car door slam. It sounded close...I even glanced out the window, but didn't immediately see anything. I turned back to my computer screen. Then I heard voices. Glancing over a second time I saw Julianne walking up the front path, obviously coming home for lunch. Not unusual, really. But voices...plural. She had a friend with her. The realization of what I was wearing rushed over me and my horror deepened when I saw that not only did Julianne have a friend with her, this friend was a boy! I had seconds to decide how to play this. Stay in my seat and smile bravely? This is probably what I would've done had I been in my normal pajama pants and t-shirt. But no, today I was in a robe...a bright pink one, no less. I don't tend to wear pink anymore, but this was the robe I bought with some Christmas money from my grandparents back when I was in my first year of college. So not only a robe...but a really old and tattered one at that. I decided to grab my computer which was still gaily playing whatever song was cued up on my iTunes playlist and make a run for it down the hall.

Yes, a flash of pink. I'm sure they saw it as they came in. Because then Julianne called down a warning as they walked into the entryway and I could hear the humor in her voice, "Mom...I've brought Jaden home with me for lunch!" 

"Yes, I noticed!" I called back. "That's why I ran for it...you've caught me being lazy this morning and I'm in nothing but my robe!" 

I heard Jaden's laugh. Good thing he feels comfortable at our house and knows our family well.

And then the memory of the state of my messy kitchen came back to me. Face palm.

Maybe this'll teach me to get ready for the day in a more timely manner after the kids leave for school....

Trapped in my own home

I am typing this from my hiding spot on the floor under the window of my computer room. Said room is right off the front door with the large window affording me a view of my front yard, the street just beyond and of course, the walkway that runs parallel to the window and then up the front steps to my door.

A few minutes ago while sitting at my computer desk a flash of red caught my eye and I glanced over only to see a door-to-door sales guy wearing a red cap making his way up my walkway. Without even thinking twice, I hit the mute on my computer (silencing the playlist I had been listening to) and dropped to the floor like my life depended on it and then slithered my way over to the window like a snake hoping that he hadn't already seen me. And then I waited as he rang the doorbell once, twice. Trapped, I lay there wondering how long I should wait before the coast was clear. What if I got up too soon and he was still standing there? What if he had already seen me, knew I was home and was waiting to give me a condemning stare when I popped my head up again? It's now been a good ten minutes. Surely he's long gone by now, yes?

Wait. What? 

I, a 41-year old woman hiding out in my own home...literally laying low under the window so I don't have to deal with a door-to-door salesman? How ridiculous is this?

I so need to get a "no soliciting" sign....

Once a blonde, always a blonde

I've begun the process of lightning my hair color. It's been a dark brown, nearly black, for about ten years now. A stark contrast to the dirty dishwater blonde I was previously. But my grey hairs are now coming in fast and furious. And those grey hairs look pretty dramatically light against my dark hair. So I decided that it was time to go lighter so as to lessen the contrast. Not that I plan to go completely blonde again. And not that my grey hairs won't still be noticeable...just maybe not as holy-wow-that-girl-really-needs-to-get-her-hair-done-stat sort of obvious. But it's been so dark for so long that it's going to be and already has been a lengthy process. This most recent trip to salon brought my hair color to a point where it is now noticeably lighter.

Bryan is thrilled. And my Dad actually thanked me when he noticed. I started wondering if they had actually hated my hair for the past ten years...
(They both assure me that this is not the case.)

I was reading a blog post this morning. About a lady who was having a frazzled sort of morning. It involved getting her kids to school on the first day and smashing her finger in the door, blood spurting everywhere...all while promising to help a friend jump his car because of a dead battery so he could get to the airport. So, after getting the kids off and trying to staunch the blood from her finger...she opened her trunk, nodded to the jumper cables sitting there and told her friend to go get his car so they could get started.
To which he stared at her and said, could you be any more blonde? She felt dumb and made excuses about her injured finger and frazzled state of mind.
And I sat there trying to figure out what the problem was.
Was there some double entendre that I was catching onto? What was she apologizing for? What was she feeling blonde about? I just wasn't seeing it.

I read the passage a couple more times and then continued to skim down the post a ways before I finally figured it out. Oh! Duh. Of course the guy can't bring his car to hers...his battery is dead. That's the whole point of needing jumper cables.
And then I laughed at myself and felt rather dumb.

Because apparently it doesn't matter if you have been a brunette for ten years....underneath it all, the blonde lives on.