Thursday, July 19, 2012

That place...

I'm at that place again.  That same place I occupied six years ago.  The one where I found myself grappling with thoughts of entering a new phase of life.  With all of my children in school, what would I do with myself?  Oh, I had no doubt I would keep busy regardless.  But I found myself with a desire to do more, to reinvent myself, maybe?  To challenge myself?  However you describe it, this is the place I found myself inhabiting six years ago.  Brandon was heading off to Kindergarten.  Thoughts of a masters degree, or voice lessons to prepare myself for potential auditions for theatres or choirs?  Or volunteering at a museum, or getting a job?  All of those ideas came to a screeching halt as one very big and overwhelming thought took their place.  Another baby.  (Another baby???)  So I exited that place and reentered one that was familiar...but with the vague feeling that this place and I needed to be reintroduced.  It had been many years since I had dealt with morning sickness, maternity clothes and cravings.  Nighttime feedings, diapers and spit-up were something I thought was in my past.  But oh, that sweet little face.  Those coos and giggles and smiles.  That fresh-out-of-the-bath new baby smell.  It was the right place to be at that time.

But six years have passed.  That baby is a baby no more.  Lilian is heading off to Kindergarten this September.  And though I know I won't be jumping into anything immediately, I'm finding myself in that new phase of life place again.  I've spent the morning researching masters programs and museum jobs.  And the more I read, the more excited I become.  I don't know yet, what I will choose to do.  I know that whatever it is, it'll be something that will allow me to still be a mother and wife first and foremost.  But I can feel it...that pull.  

2 comments:

Dayna RN said...

Go girl! You'll be awesome at whatever you choose!

Kim Anderson said...

You will be amazing at whatever you do. And this will give you more time to go to lunch with your most favorite short friend :)