The Dinner Hour

This is a recent article written by my dad for their neighborhood newsletter...one that, though was not written necessarily with me in mind, seemed to hit me especially hard all the same:



(Look! It could be us! Well, minus the horse and about a century or so....)

The Dinner Hour
George Orwell said, "Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it." It's true, and that probably explains why people my age feel so qualified to be generous with their advice. That said, let me now exercise the prerogative of my sixty-plus years and offer a suggestion to those of the next generation.

Have dinner together.

The question our kids call out when they come in from play....slamming the back door and sloughing off their coats onto the floor...is ancient and predictable: "Mom, what's for dinner?" But the response these days is something new. It's the voice of a busy mother in another room whose thoughts are occupied with other things: "There are some frozen burritos in the fridge. Go warm one up in the microwave if you're hungry." This is, ever more commonly, what passes for the dinner hour in the new millennium.

Dlora and I raised five daughters. To the extent that we had any success with them, we credit it in large measure to our dinner hour.

Dinnertime was one of the non-negotiables in our family. We found that a sit-down dinner at the kitchen table...mom and dad at each end, the kids down the sides...not only assured that we were having at least one good, balanced meal in a day, but also assured some daily family time together...a rare commodity in our fast-paced culture. Our dinner meal provided for more than a quick and perfunctory blessing on the food; we often knelt and had family prayer there at the table. We sometimes read from the scriptures. I think it was from our dinnertime reading that Melissa became enamored with the story of Ammon cutting off the arms of the bad men who were scattering King Lamoni's flocks. It was at the table that Katie honed her math and fairness skills, dividing 7 people into 24 fish sticks and making certain that nobody got more or less than their 3-3/7 fish stick allocation. Dinner time was sharing time. Sarah regularly recounting what the awesome foursome of Sarah, Kami, Chellie and Lori had been up to during the day. Mary demonstrated her muscle power, deftly unscrewing the lid from the mayonnaise jar when none of her girly sisters could manage it. Rachel sang us the new song she had learned at Joy School. It wasn't always spiritual resonance...sometimes it was a kind of controlled bedlam as our five daughters all talked at once, but it was family time in real life: the good, the bad, and the ugly. And shining through the ridiculous was the ever-present glimmer of the sublime...the rock solid center of family solidarity and love.

On a practical level, our family dinner hour brought order to our evening. And it was easy on our family budget: homemade spaghetti (our kids' favorite) was far and away cheaper than Happy Meals, buckets of chicken, and frozen, prepared entrees warmed in the microwave and consumed at the kitchen counter. So, here's my advice: Put down the frozen burritos. Dust off the family recipes. Stop text messaging. Get a little infield chatter going.

Have dinner together.

I know that having dinner together as a family is important. Obviously I grew up with a stellar example of how to do it. Time and time again I've heard advice and read studies from church and secular leaders alike. Have dinner together, they all say. At the time it kind of baffled me because as parents, Bryan and I had no problem whatsoever with having dinner, together, all of us around the table. It's just been in the past few years that I've realized what all the warnings and hoopla was about. Because all of the sudden, it is ridiculously hard to have dinner as a family. Two teenagers with busy schedules, Brandon at gymnastics four times a week, Bryan with odds and end deadlines or business trips, me with rehearsals....

All the sudden it takes a lot more effort and sacrifice to make sure we have dinner together as a family. So I'm trying. Trying to make it more of a priority. More of an essential part of our day. Cooking is not my favorite chore. Oh, I can cook and I've got some pretty awesome recipes in my repertoire...but it's a chore, like doing laundry or vacuuming. So in order to get a great meal on the table or at least in progress by the time Bryan comes home from work...it's taken some serious mental planning as well as physical scheduling.

Can I just say...making a menu at the beginning of the week and, from that, a grocery list, has been a life saver. I'm not one of those who can rummage through the pantry and fridge and come up with a fabulous meal on the fly. I'm a recipe follower. Our menu for this week...it's a simple one. Because other than tonight, every night this week Julianne, Rebekah and I will be at rehearsals or performances for "Receive These Things"...the play all the youth in our stake are involved in and I am helping to direct. (More about that later this week.)

Monday: chef salad (Kids love this cause they can put in whatever they want... "like all the good stuff instead of all the gross tomatoes and avocados"...according to Julianne.)
Tuesday: spaghetti and garlic bread (You know, that spaghetti with the homemade sauce that my dad mentioned in his newsletter? Yeah, it's still my very favorite.)
Wednesday: homemade chili in the crockpot and cornbread
Thursday: ham/carrot/potato casserole with french bread (Another favorite from my childhood...one of those comfort food type of casseroles.)
Friday: dinner out before the show.
Saturday: chicken tacos with all the toppings
Sunday: buffalo roast with carrots, onions and potatoes