Halloween 2017

For many years our Halloween night traditions have included Heather and her kiddos coming to our neighborhood to trick-or-treat with us. For years we had such a Halloween carnival like atmosphere here. Pizza parties before-hand, over the top spooky decor, themed houses, haunted houses, scones and hot cocoa, fire pits and Halloween music, etc. But as the years have passed, our youngster heavy demographic has changed. The kids are growing up and have become teenagers and older. There are still quite a few children trick-or-treating, but nowhere near as many as in past years. Things have changed and some of those spooky hot spots in our neighborhood that brought in hordes of halloween revelers have moved or shuttered their windows as their own kids have grown up. There are still scones and cocoa, and various other houses with fun decor, music and fire pits in the driveways. But the Halloween carnival-like hey day in our neighborhood appears to be over. And while I'm a little sad, I understand it. And am thankful for the memories.

This year Heather, and specifically her youngest son Noah, decided that maybe they'd like to trick-or-treat in their own neighborhood and would we like to join them there? Interestingly, their neighborhood is the neighborhood we lived in for 8 years before moving to our present home. (In a totally coincidental turn of events, Heather and her little family moved into our old 'hood a few years after we moved out. For awhile we regularly got confused questions from ward members wondering how it was that Heather and I were such good friends if we'd never actually lived in the ward/neighborhood at the same time. We'd have to explain the growing up together/college roommates/BFF relationship.) Lilian agreed that though she'd prefer to trick-or-treat in our neighborhood, Noah was more important and if that meant spending Halloween night away from home, then so be it.

I had some massive deja vu as we wandered those same streets and houses that I had trick-or-treated with Rebekah, Julianne and Brandon when they were young. It was a little surreal to ring the doorbell and yell trick-or-treat at our old house. Goodness, what memories I had all evening long! The neighborhood has changed...there are quite a few who like us, have moved over the years. But there were still many familiar faces and some happy reunions with old neighbors.

 Honestly, not much of an official costume for me this year. This cute metal crown/headband was a souvenir Lilian picked up at Comic Con last month...and it took quite a bit of convincing trying to get her to let me borrow it. Not even the "But I paid for it!" seemed to work very well. I'm not sure if she thought I was going to break it or something? Somehow I finally got her to agree. But other than color coordinating my outfit to the crown, I wasn't any sort of character that I could actually name.

Look! It's our old front porch! That little metal flag holder on the post? I hung that up! Yeah...okay, I'll let it go.

Brandon spent the evening with some friends Halloween party hopping. Rebekah and Tanner stayed in Logan as Halloween was a weeknight and they had classes the next morning. Julianne was transferred to Kearny, NJ on Halloween and met her new companion for the first time. But she sent this picture from a Halloween party the weekend before in her Spanish branch in Toms River.

Halloween parade

As a kid I looked forward to celebrating Halloween in school, specifically the costume parade. I loved being dressed up in my costume at school. (My favorite was the year I was a fairy princess...oh my goodness, I'd never felt so beautiful.) I loved seeing everyone else's costumes. I loved parading through all the other classrooms and the gym where the parents congregated. I loved watching for my mom who'd walked up to the school to see us. I loved the class party afterwards. I have such vivid and happy memories of those elementary school Halloween experiences. It was all just great fun. So I was sad when my own children went to elementary schools where costumes and parades were not allowed. Oh, I'm sure they still quite enjoyed the Halloween parties and art projects and various festivities. And since they didn't know any different, they didn't miss the costume parade. But I knew, and I missed it vicariously for them.

When Lilian reached the 3rd grade, a new principle came to her elementary school. She decided that with a few guidelines and boundaries, she would be amenable to Halloween costume parades. Oh hey...did you hear that? That is the sound of joy and rejoicing throughout the land! Excitement abounded and a glorious Halloween celebration was had by all! {I might be getting just the slightest bit carried away now...} The next year a new elementary school was built nearby and we found ourselves included in the boundaries. Would that one year of Halloween costume parade goodness be our only year? Believe it or not, the principle of our new school also agreed to hold a parade! There was more joy and rejoicing, because now the kids knew what wonderful fun that parade truly was. They'd actually miss it now if it was discontinued. 

The Halloween costume parade is a different experience for me as a parent, clearly. I sit in the gym or the main hallway to watch the parade of kids come through...but still such enjoyable fun! What a feast for the eyes! It is so fascinating to see what costumes these kids come up with. Scary, cute, pop culture, pretty, creativity, color...but one thing that seems to be a standard with each kid: such joy on those little faces. There is no doubt that they love this Halloween parade tradition. {And now I'm feeling sad again that Rebekah, Julianne and Brandon never got to experience it. Lilian is the only one.}

All of this leading into pictures of Lilian's costume parade this year as a 5th grader. Unicorns were popular this year. While her costume was a little on the overly cozy side inside the school, it did keep her pretty warm while outside trick-or-treating Halloween night. But more on that a little later...

Coach Cade, also clearly a fan of Halloween, decided to have the last practice before the big day be a a combined one with both his girls and boys teams...and he encouraged them to wear their Halloween costumes. Deciding that it might be hard to run around in a bulky and hot fuzzy suit with a horn on your head while trying to make soccer goals, Lilian pulled out an old costume of Julianne's to wear that evening. But I tell you what, it was pretty funny watching Big Bird as goalie...

 A stop at Fiiz after practice with besties Lilian, Julie and Sophie.

Pumpkin adventures

Our resident lovebirds, Rebekah and Tanner, had never spent a Halloween together. Indeed, last year Tanner was newly home from Taiwan and Rebekah was still in London. So this year, while home from USU on Fall Break, we decided a trip to the pumpkin patch was in order.

Later that evening the pumpkin carving began. Tanner found a music design that he decided to carve into his pumpkin. Rebekah asked her Dad for his drill to make circular designs in her pumpkin. Brandon decided the drill was also the way to go, while Bryan helped Lilian carve a cat design. I had so much fun last year painting my pumpkins that I pulled out the paints again, and in honor of Julianne's mission, painted the shape of the state of New Jersey. (Trust me, the state flag was going to be way beyond my abilities.)

A few days later I pulled out my paints (and markers) again. Over Fall Break we also watched the new Disney movie, "Coco"...all about Mexican culture and Day of the Dead. Though Julianne is serving her mission in New Jersey, she is a Spanish speaking hermana and after spending 6 weeks in the Mexico MTC, is now teaching many hispanic and latino cultures. I decided that maybe it would be fun to try my hand at some Day of the Dead sugar skull pumpkins. I had so much fun that I think I'll make it tradition for future years to come. {Ah, how we miss our Hermana Croft!}

Hasta Luego

I had been told that sending off a second missionary wasn't any easier than sending off the first. I had heard that knowing what to expect was actually harder in some ways because you know what to expect. People told me that dropping your missionary off at the airport was harder than dropping them off at the Provo MTC. After having experienced it I am now in a position to say that it's true. All of it.

Monday was spent packing and saying tough goodbyes. (Dad, who had a business trip, and boyfriend who she wouldn't be allowed to see as soon as she was an official missionary.) All too soon it was time to go to the stake president's office to get set apart as a missionary. Already emotional, by the time President Brown invited us in to join Julianne, we were a bit of a mess. Julianne shared her testimony and her reasons behind wanting to serve a mission. President Brown set her apart. And by the time he finished, we were all very glad that there is always a box of kleenex in the stake president's office. President Brown quoted D&C 84:88 And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.
I'm guessing it was meant to strengthen and comfort Julianne. I know it had that affect on me.

 (Julianne was rather pleased with the placement of her picture on the stake offices missionary board...right between Elle and Lauren.)

We had thought about getting up extra early to have a last breakfast at Granny Annie's, but packing didn't get finished up till midnight and we had planned to leave the house around 6:45am to head to the airport. We decided sleep was more important. Rebekah and Julianne had one last sleepover. They said it was because Julianne was now a missionary and Rebekah was her companion so therefore they shouldn't sleep in separate bedrooms. But really, they'd been having sleepovers most nights since Rebekah came home from her mission seven months ago. And seeing as by the time Julianne comes home, Rebekah will likely be married, this last time seemed significant.

The morning came all to soon, and not soon enough. Similarly to how I felt when Rebekah was leaving...I was ready. In a way, I had dreaded this day. And the stress and emotions had taken their toll, physically and emotionally. Julianne's leaving was going to happen no matter what, and I got to the point where I just wanted to be done, to get things going so we could start counting down, you know? I think Julianne felt similarly. Although I don't think she was dreading the day, but more anticipating it.

We made the drive to the airport and then sat in the car for a few minutes to have a family prayer. I felt like maybe it was my responsibility as the mother to say it. But of course that meant that my words came out in a tearful, heart aching, emotional mess.

We walked inside (wiping away tears) and got Julianne's boarding passes printed and her luggage checked. I was kind of amazed at just how incredibly helpful and kind the Delta counter agents were to all the missionaries there. Knowing that these missionaries and their families were running the gamut of emotions...fear of the unknown, feeling overwhelmed, confusion, sadness, excitement, and everything in between...they clearly see this every week. And while it might be easy to feel annoyed at all these clueless families, they instead responded with such empathy and asked us where Julianne was serving, expressed excitement over her call, offered advice with travel. It made me worry just a little bit less.

(And the pink/purple luggage makes a second mission go 'round...)

We went upstairs to the security line. The point of no return. This is where it becomes so much harder to say goodbye than at the Provo MTC. In Provo, you know you have more or less delivered your missionary to their destination, at least for the next few weeks. She is going to go inside and be assigned a companion, and a bedroom. She will be fed and taken good care of. At the airport you have to say goodbye and watch her walk through that security line all on her own. Will she make it to her gate okay? What happens if she loses her luggage? What if there are problems or delays with her flight? Will someone be there at the other end in Mexico to pick her up?

(I tried to smile for the camera...but didn't realize that Brandon continued to take pictures, so there is a progression of me losing the precarious hold I had on my tears.)























We said our goodbyes. We hugged and cried and hugged some more. Julianne was admirably calm. I think she had spent her emotions the day before and was just ready.

 Once again, the hardest part came when we got home. Saying goodbye is hard, yes. But coming home and seeing the pajama pants she had worn the night before still in my room where she had got ready that morning, finding her phone on the counter, realizing that all of the things that she had decided not to pack but had not put away were now my responsibility...because she wasn't coming home to do it herself....that's when the ache really sets in. So I decided to put my pajamas back on and allow myself to do nothing productive all day. I ate chocolate, binge watched Netflix, napped and allowed myself to cry whenever I felt like it rather than fight the tears. I didn't leave the house for two days. And I think that helped.

Another thing that helped? I got a quick email that evening from Julianne. She said she had arrived safely, that there had been 25 missionaries on her flight to Mexico and that her P-Days would be on Thursdays while in the MTC. The next day I also found a couple pictures of her on the Mexico MTC facebook page. Both of those things did much to settle any worries that I had.

There is a Julianne sized hole in my heart. And though she's physically little, her spirit is larger than life. Which means that hole is pretty darn noticeable. It aches, my heart. It very literally hurts. But I'm so proud of her as well. Knowing what to expect this time around means I understand already how hard the missing her can be and how long the time sometimes seems. But it also means that I am fully aware of all the blessings that come, to both her and us here at home. And it's worth it.